Unresolved Issues & Trauma…
Recently, (within this last week) I have been forcefully reminded I DEFINITELY have unresolved issues in my life… and they ARE DEFINITELY taking a toll!
How is this possible? I have written a book explaining how one should deal with unresolved issues. I have a podcast where I talk about mental health and different issues in this field and how we can all best take care of ourselves. I work DAILY with people who have experienced significant trauma and other unresolved issues in their lives and I am supposed to be “giving them advice.” How the heck am I supposed to advise others when I can’t even take care of my own issues?
Besides the feelings of being an impostor and worrying about my professionalism as a mental health worker, I have learned something this week also… something I think is VERY, VERY important… at least for me! Unresolved issues, trauma, ANYTHING negative that we give residence in our body and soul for ANY amount of time, whether it is a month or a lifetime, MUST be PHYSICALLY removed from one’s own system.
I have ALWAYS thought I am smart enough and independent enough to deal with whatever I have going on in my life on my own. Just THINK and ANALYZE the problem away and “POOF”… it is gone and dealt with. This past week, I have realized I have been thinking and analyzing this ONE issue in my life for almost HALF my life… it is not only STILL in my life, but in many ways it is destroying me… physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If you, like me, (and we ALL have something) have any unresolved issues or trauma or just anything that is working to destroy your happiness and contentment in this life from the inside out, please, please, please seek out ways to get it OUTSIDE of yourself! The problem with my approach all these years is that all my “thinking and analyzing” has allowed my issue to stay deep within my own existence, where it is VERY, VERY comfortable. I have not done what is needed to get it OUTSIDE… where there are others who can help and care and comfort.
Whatever works best for you; talk-therapy, immersion, confrontation, whatever might work, please don’t keep things inside. Unresolved issues and trauma WANT to remain hidden and secret. Release them. Give them up. They are not meant to be carried… and YOU are meant to be happy, healthy, and content in this life. I wish the best for EACH of us! Please take good care.
Everyone is damaged in some way…some of us more than others. Just because we know what we SHOULD do does not mean that it is easy to just DO it. The path to resolution is often not easy, simple, obvious or comfortable.
I guess I don’t understand what you mean by “Unresolved issues, trauma, ANYTHING negative that we give residence in our body and soul for ANY amount of time, whether it is a month or a lifetime, MUST be PHYSICALLY removed from one’s own system.” Do you mean that the confrontation of it, the talking about it, the dealing with it is the way one can PHYSICALLY remove it? Or do you mean that one should try and PHYSICALLY remove what is triggering that trauma…and if so, isn’t that just avoiding dealing with the underlying issue?
I think you are absolutely right in that unresolved trauma and issues want to remain hidden and secret. It’s also EASIEST for the possessor of those issues to help them continue to remain that way. It’s hard work to expose yourself to that trauma again and to grapple with the physical and mental manifestations that result from finally dealing with that trauma and bringing it back to the surface.
I wish you well on your journey of healing.
Yes, I agree, Betsy. I don’t think the path to resolution and healing will EVER be easy! I believe it will ALWAYS require a lot of very hard, and difficult work and a commitment to yourself and possibly others to get to a place that is “better” than where we are currently.
As to the second paragraph and my mention of having to “physically remove issues and trauma from within the body”, this just comes from some self-revelations I personally have had in the past week. Recently, I have realized that an “issue” with a past girlfriend that I truly thought was “resolved” because I had simply thought things through using my own brain and resources… it turns out this was not enough. What I have realized is that in order to properly and adequately “resolve” the issue I have with this situation, I NEED to talk to others and put it “into the world, outside of myself, where others and myself can work together to talk about and work to heal some of the pain and suffering that is still present.” Basically, I have realized that the 15 years or so I “thought” I was “dealing” with this issue has not produced the desired results and anything I keep “inside” myself is not actually “working to heal or resolve anything in a real and meaningful manner.”
Basically, yes! I agree with you. Trauma and unresolved issues are tricky as heck. There are significant reasons they do so much damage to ourselves. I guess the main thing I have realized in this process is that in dealing with these issues, no matter how smart and emotionally intelligent a person might be, seeking help and advice outside of oneself is not only best, but often necessary for real growth and healing to begin. I hope this response is adequate. Thank you for the message.