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The other day I was at the pool (but honestly, this probably happens close to every day I am at the pool), and there were some younger kids. They were playing in the hot tub and they saw a bee. To be fair, I don’t know if these kids were allergic or if there was some other legitimate reason for such a big reaction, but these youngsters started “freaking out.” I mean proper “freaking out”… running around frantically, screaming, and racing toward their Mom desperately yelling, “Mommy, kill the bee! Kill the bee, Mommy! Hurry, kill the bee.” (The Mom did NOT kill the bee, which I appreciated).

But it just made me think… WHY? Why did those kids freak out so much? Maybe there are some children who have had SOME SORT of interaction with a bee… maybe they were stung or it landed on them or something happened that scared them in some way… but the majority of young people have had NO PERSONAL INTERACTIONS with bees in any way… and they are TERRIFIED! Legitimately terrified. Why?

It is almost as if these youngsters are being “programmed” to be terrified of bees… it made me think, “What else might they be being ‘programmed’ to think?” “Am I being ‘programmed’?” The answer is YES! An emphatic, absolute YES! Me! YOU! ALL OF US in this world at this moment are being “programmed” to think certain ways… to like this group of people but to think this group are idiots and should disappear, to want this and hate that, to favor this ideology over that one, to be terrified of this but absolutely in love with that, this brand is better than that one… and on and on it goes…

But WHAT about ME is NOT programmed? WHAT about me is truly, genuinely, authentically ME? What do “I” TRULY, GENUINELY, AUTHENTICALLY desire, want, love, hate, think…? This is a WAY BIGGER QUESTION than I originally had intended… but it did make me think… and I WANTED an answer.

I want time on the tennis court with my friends! I want to drink a tall Blue Moon with them on a Friday night after playing tennis and complain about how old we are all getting and how much our bodies ache… I want to ride Avanta whenever and wherever I choose. I want to pretend I am a MotoGP racer around every roundabout and “scrapin’ knees” (not even CLOSE to being true…) I want touches and butt bumps and I want to call my Mom today because I miss her and I love her. I want time alone to just “sit and think… and TRY my best to figure out this world and my own place in it.” I want nature and beauty and sensuality and I want to sit on my porch and enjoy watching the sunset… and I want bees.

This is my answer. What is yours?