What Did I Learn This Week?
This past week I had the opportunity to “listen to” (I did not actually WANT to) two different groups, all of about 5-6 people, have “conversations” with each other. What I noticed made me quite sad… but it also reinforced something very important to me and how I live my life. In ALL of the conversations I “observed” (I did not really have a choice because they were often quite loud) EVERYONE who was participating had SOMETHING TO SAY… whether or not it was actually appropriate or even “added” to the conversation. Each individual just kept getting louder and a bit more “emphatic” in what they were saying… until it eventually became at least four of five of the people… just “talking”,,, and hoping that someone else was listening to them… all the while NOT LISTENING to what anyone else was saying.
Both of these “conversations” quite literally became “contests.” With each person, a bit more loudly… and a bit more loudly, stating “Well, I have been here.” And “I have done this!” and “Yea, but, have you ever gone to this restaurant and seen this… something or other.” “I spent this much money on this and traveled to this many places…” Nobody was listening. People were just talking… HOPING that SOMEONE was listening… and would acknowledge how “great” they were or how many places they had been or how much money they make… or whatever.
These “conversations” made me realize a few things… things that are SUPER IMPORTANT to me… and I think are worthy of your consideration also. First, if you turn life into a “contest” (which, in my mind, that is ALL social media does these days) there is always going to be SOMEONE out there that is living a better life than you (or at the very least, PRETENDING to live a better life). Don’t do this! YOUR LIFE does not need to be better than OTHERS! YOUR LIFE simply needs to be the best FOR YOU! Second, CONNECTION with others is WAY MORE IMPORTANT than “conquests.” If you are having a conversation with another and you find yourself “raising your voice” so that they will “hear” what you are saying… STOP. Please… just take a moment… Pause… Breathe… and ask yourself, “Is this point I am trying to make REALLY WORTH needing to raise my voice so others will ‘hear’?” Just pause one moment and I think the answer will be VERY CLEAR. Maybe instead, fully focus on what THEY ARE SAYING and make the CONNECTION you are BOTH looking to make, HOPING to make, NEEDING to make, with each other. Lastly, this one is important to me, because often I think of myself as “so weird and awkward” in this life and how I navigate this world… but there is POWER in simply being silent… and LISTENING… TRULY LISTENING!
We do not need to always be SAYING SOMETHING. To be PROVING SOMETHING. To be BETTER THAN… or MORE WELL-TRAVELED or RICHER or MORE INTELLIGENT or whatever… This World NEEDS “listeners.” BE a LISTENER.