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It was my very first day working as a lift operator at Winter Park Ski Resort in Colorado. I had made it through the morning and was actually making my way back to the lift I was working that day after my hour long lunch break. I had been able to ride my snowboard the entire hour and I remember thinking to myself, “What a cool way to spend a lunch break.” I had just come from the locker room where I had stored my official Winter Park uniform jacket because we were not supposed to wear our official Winter Park gear if we wanted to ski or ride during our lunch hours. On the way back to the lift, I decided to make my way through one small patch of trees where I knew there was a lot of snow. As I came out of the trees, I could see the lift where I would be working the rest of the afternoon. I would never make it.

One other thing you were not supposed to do if you were in uniform was to exhibit any style of skiing or riding that might be considered as dangerous or ‘out of control” by any of the guests. With this rule in mind, as I came out of the trees, I went to my heel side and started to carve across the slope. There was one last cat track before the lift and your skis or snowboard were not supposed to leave the snow if you were on duty and in uniform. I was slowing down before the cat track, totally under control (at least I think so. I hope so.) and then there she was. Yes, I saw her. Yea, she was in front of me cutting the opposite way across the run that I was cutting. Yea, she was pretty close but I remember thinking if I just cut up hill a little I will go right past her. Yea, it will be close. Any yea, I might get in trouble if Rob or Cat hear about this but things should be good. Everything’s under control.

CRACK! This lady was maybe 5’4” and petite. I am 6’6” and NOT petite. I could not have hit her more squarely if I had tried. The thing that I remember most clearly about this situation is looking above me and seeing this lady flying through the air about two feet above my head. OH… MY… GOD… I just killed someone!

After the impact, we ended up about 25 feet apart. I looked behind me and saw a beautiful lady, maybe in her 30’s sitting in the snow, gasping, and I mean GASPING as though she was going to die, and I thought, “She is going to die.” I was sure of it. I took off my snowboard as quickly as I could and I put my right foot in the snow to stand up. As I put my left leg down and pushed off to go help this lady, there was NOTHING. I crumpled to the snow, not being able to understand what had happened. As I found out later, I had torn all the major ligaments in my left knee and the meniscus. I would need surgery if I ever wanted to walk again.

The ski instructor, from whom this lady had been taking ski lessons, came up to me and told me to stay down. As I sat there, totally bewildered and helpless and filled with overflowing guilt, the cutest little boy, African American (I only mention this because I want this story to address race relations and the current situation in America) sidled up just below me on his skis and looked at me and said these words. “Don’t worry, mister. These kinds of things happen A-L-L (he definitely emphasized this word) the time!” No buddy, they don’t. I will never forget that little dude and the words he said that day. Most importantly, I will never forget the innocence he expressed so vividly in his eyes, even though I had just come close to REALLY, REALLY causing his mom some serious problems.

As it turned out, the boy was the son of the lady I had just hit. They were both on a ski lesson just learning how to ski. And then I came along…

These next words are not fun to write. They show very clearly a prejudice and a bias within me that I am by no means proud of in any way. I am embarrassed to write these words, but I think they are important. I hope they might cause some thought and some introspection that is desperately needed at this moment in America and throughout the world.

Both the lady and I were taken to the First Aid Clinic. We were both lying on stretchers in the same room. I was so filled with remorse and guilt for what I had done that I could not stop myself from continually saying, “I am sorry.” “Please forgive me.” “I am SO, SO sorry.” It was so continuous they eventually moved her into the hallway just to get her away from me.

This is the part of which I am not so proud. If I had hit a Caucasian skier, I would have acted differently. This I believe is true. Because this lady had darker skin than me, I felt “EXTRA” sorry for her. I made assumptions about her background and looked at her as the “minority representative” in a very “white person activity.” I thought that I needed to do “more” to make it up to her. I wanted to be “extra nice” because she was an African American. What I FAILED to do was to simply recognize and respect her as a human being. I did not allow for the fact that she would need NOTHING from me, not that day nor any day after. I completely FAILED to see the strength and humanity of this woman as a capable and thriving individual in this world. If I am honest, I could only see her in the clichés and media sound bites to which I had been exposed. Even though I knew NOTHING about this woman, I was willing to judge her, and I was proven VERY, VERY wrong.

Even though I failed in so many ways on this particular day, she rose above. Even though I offered free lift tickets and letters and apologies and weak explanations, it was unnecessary. Apologies were accepted and forgiveness was given. Nothing more was needed. Prejudice was forgiven, but it has not been forgotten. That day at Winter Park showed me exactly how much work is left for me to do to become a better person but also showed me how much work others have already put in to become the person I would like to be.