Fear…
I have spent a lot of my week feeling “disconnected from myself.” Earlier this week, I had an amazing conversation with a young girl in 8th grade and we talked about how important it is to try and align what you feel and think “on the inside” with how you act and present “on the outside”, the part of ourselves the world “sees.” I can say VERY HONESTLY, this week I am NOT “aligned” in any way with what I am feeling and thinking on the inside and how I am presenting on the outside… and it feels HORRIBLE!
I have spent SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY in my life in trying to close “the gap” between my inside world and my outside world… and I believe I have been pretty successful, but THIS WEEK… my “gap” has been torn wide open. I am struggling! In essence, I am PRETENDING to be a person I am not… and it makes me think of how many of us in this world are doing EXACTLY THE SAME THING… but consistently… for years and years and years… and then we wonder why we are breaking down and suffering mentally and physically and emotionally and spiritually.
It is my belief, WE ARE NOT BEING TRUE TO OURSELVES. If we are not true to ourselves, we WILL SUFFER! BUT… it is SO DIFFICULT to balance this world with who we TRULY are and want to be… hmmm… it is just difficult. Not much more I can write. I hope you are good. Please take good care.