A “Perfect” Project…
I have been searching the entirety of my years for an artistic project to “balance” my life. I have finally found it. As I have mentioned publicly many times, I do not seem to have any difficulties in being hypocritical. One aspect of my life that has caused constant conflict for me is supposedly “caring for the environment”, but yet making the majority of the money I have earned in construction; including jobs in roofing, concrete, many aspects of house construction, working in the Bakken oil field, and currently building cedar fences. In my lifetime, I have caused A LOT of damage to the environment in which we ALL live.
This knowledge hurts my soul. My soul has been hurting a lot recently and I have been doing A LOT of searching… what do I need and what can I offer this world? I am not a person who needs much, but there are a few things that are vital to my existence. I need to know I am loved (this is a fairly new realization and something that is still awkward for me to admit). I need to know I am relatively safe (I do not think I would be ok in a war zone or even in a high-crime area). I need, in some capacity, to TRY and be “helping others” (my involvement in the podcast with Rowan is my current attempt). Lastly, I need to be creative in some way, preferably in a way that does limited damage to the environment.
In pursuing this last need, I have traveled many different paths. I have designed stickers, created t-shirts, written blogs, painted, sculpted, carved, repurposed, recycled, anything I could think of… but there has always been one major difficulty. In trying to pursue a creative outlet, the “piece of art” I might create has always created more damage to this Earth than any solutions. There has always been a “negative.”
Currently, I build Cedar fences to make money. The whole concept of “fences” is something difficult for me. It causes conflict. However, if I had never taken this job, this project would not have happened. I love Cedar. I can not explain in words how magical I believe this wood to be. I love the smell! The texture, the grain, the feel! I love the “ambience” it creates when you cut it and it occupies the whole job site. For me, it is truly a magical wood. My fascination with Cedar is also directly attributable to my work and exposure to the Native American community here in Minneapolis and other places I have been lucky enough to visit. I have been honored by elders within this community who have shared not only their time and energy, but also their wisdom and knowledge of their own cultures and the value Cedar is assigned. In the Native American cultures to which I have been exposed, Cedar is believed to offer “protection.”
I offer this “project” because I want us all to feel two vital aspects essential for life. First, I want each of us to feel “safe”, to feel protected. To feel honored and respected, seen and heard, and free to be the best versions of ourselves possible. Second, I would like each of us to know we are loved. Always, even at our lowest and most desperate moments. No matter who we are and what we are going through at any moment in this life, there is somebody in this world who loves us and cares about us and we are a shining light in their world.
I also offer this project because there is value in Cedar itself. All these pieces are made from wood that is destined for the dump. Such beauty and magic and a life-sustaining force deserves to be shared and honored and respected for all it is and all it offers. There is nothing “extra” in this project. No resin. No stains. No paint. Nothing. It is not needed because Cedar is naturally resistant to deterioration. Everything is hand-carved and only minimal amounts of electricity are used for cutting the pieces and some of the carving. It is as natural and minimal in its creation as is possible for me to make. This is the only project I have been able to offer in my life where I feel absolutely no regret in producing it. I offer this not only as a gift to you, but also as a redemption for me. I have caused a fair amount of damage to this world, and for this I am sorry. But I have also created a fair amount of beauty, and for this I am grateful.
This idea is lovely.
Trying to do the same…minimizing my footprint. Cedar is a wonderful resilient wood and a perfect match for your project. ❤️
How do I order?
You just ordered! Where do I ship it to you? This will be fun! It will be like playing “Where in the World is Carmen SanDiego” but instead trying to find one of my favorite lost friends! I will have something to ship out by tomorrow evening. Thank you so much for the message, Betsy! I really, really can’t believe that some of the smallest, most “insignificant” things to the world mean EVERYTHING to me. I am excited to give you one. It really means a lot to me. Thank you so, so much for the support and all the love recently! You are the best!
Hmmm… good question. Every few weeks we are in a place for more than a few days when my sister can gather our mail and send it to us (her address is our home base). We’re on our way south along the Florida coast and planning to jump over to the Bahamas in the next few weeks. We should be in a place long enough to receive mail in the next week or so–I’m sorry you’ll be ready to ship tomorrow evening but I don’t have an address, as of yet. I will let you know and I’d be happy to pay for shipping when we’re ready. I love the premise of your project.
I am also planning to have your book sent to me when we have a shipping address. After listening to your most recent podcast posted today, I have to agree that ideally a reader should digest your ideas from the book through the lens of their own personal experience and the podcast will further accent that.
It sounds like Rowan wants to know more specifics about why there is such a positive response to your podcast, and I personally think that it shows how each of you have added one another to your respective spheres of influence and are open to receiving each other’s ideas. Your podcast is an ongoing example of how you’re influencing each other and reconciling new identities, regardless of age. I also enjoy the give and take between the two of you with your opinions regarding what you wrote ten years ago. A person is bound to change and fine-tune their ideas over time, and it takes a strong person to be able to change their ideas (especially when they’re as old as we are!).
I am enjoying getting to know you again through your podcast (even though it’s a bit one-sided 😂 ), and I look forward to your upcoming episodes!
Betsy! Yup, this is SO fun for me. I feel like a little kid again waiting to get a note from you in high school or a chance to talk to you on the phone or something… it makes me smile and feel good inside and I believe that is kinda all that life is really about. 😉 First, I lied to you. I am very sorry but I won’t have a piece ready for you by tonight because we are working with treated lumber for this fence and I am all out of the Cedar pieces. I think the next fence is Cedar so once I have something for you, I will let you know promptly. Second, I don’t really know what to do with “pricing” these things but if you would let me just send you this one thing as a gift and a peace offering for the moments in high school where I could have acted better (I am sure there are some), it would mean a lot to me. Third, I can’t believe you are so involved and in-tune with the podcast! Thank you so very much! I am having a hard time believing people are actually liking it but but we have received a fair amount of positive feedback so… maybe I just might need to start believing, Lastly, I am REALLY LOVING reconnecting with you, Betsy! Words are often pretty inadequate but hopefully you can just FEEL some of the joy these communications are bringing me. But what is the “one-sidedness?” You know me more than I know you? Or you know Rowan more than you know me (Some people have commented that I should talk just a bit more, but that is just the dynamics, so…)? But this is my reality… I am ABSOLUTELY ADORING all the posts you are making and I am following your travels closely and I even study the pictures maybe a bit more than I should, so just know that you might THINK I don’t know too much about you, but it is possible I am learning more and more everyday! 🙂 Have a great day, Betsy. Again, thank you for everything.