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So… you want your kid to have grit, huh? Really? Are you sure? Are you REALLY willing ?

If yes, it is pretty easy actually. Refuse to protect your kids from the world around them and expose them to many situations they think they will not survive, either physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, and then let them suffer (I am in NO WAY advocating for things like rape and abuse and abandonment and neglect, even though these do create grit in our kids). And suffer. And suffer. All you need to do is sit quietly by their side and let them know you are going to be there once the situation ends. Here is a story.

When I was in sixth grade, I qualified to participate in the city-wide spelling bee. I could spell anything. I loved spelling words. I did not love spelling words in front of an audience. I am a very shy person by nature. I do not like to be the center of attention. I definitely did not want to have to spell words in front of a crowd I did not know.

Mr. Prosek was my principal, and he was the one who drove me to the competition. When we arrived, I saw the crowd, and I panicked. I locked myself in the bathroom and began to cry, refusing to take part in the spelling bee. The spelling bee was delayed by 30 – 45 minutes because I would not leave the bathroom. I do not know what Mr. Prosek said to me that day but eventually I walked onto that stage and spelled some words, still crying, and terrified! I did not honestly think I would survive this experience. In many ways it is funny what scares each of us but I still remember this moment as a time when I thought I might not survive. I never found my parents in the crowd that day, but Mr. Prosek somehow secured a seat in the very front row. I remember thinking to myself, “As long as Mr. Prosek stays right there, you are going to be ok.”

I did not win that spelling bee. In fact, I misspelled the word “truant”, which was somewhat prophetic for my later days in high school, but I survived. I survived that spelling bee because Mr. Prosek, the other contestants, my mom and dad and all the other members of that crowd allowed me to suffer. I still don’t like to be in front of crowds or the center of attention, but I can do it. I no longer lock myself in a bathroom but sometimes I still feel like crying… but there is “grit.” Any stage, anywhere in the world, in front of any crowd, and I will be there. Thank you, Mr. Prosek.